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The Truth About Women and Sex: How Often We’re Actually Doing It

Think you’re the only one not having enough sex? Think again.A new survey found that 51 percent of women believe that having sex a few times a week is considered healthy, but only 30 percent are engaging in sexual activity at this level….

By Jennifer D’Angelo Friedman

November 9, 2011

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Think you’re the only one not having enough sex? Think again.

A new survey found that 51 percent of women believe that having sex a few times a week is considered healthy, but only 30 percent are engaging in sexual activity at this level. In fact, 66 percent confessed to getting it on once a week or less, according to the annual WomenTALK survey commissioned by HealthyWomen, a nonprofit organization that provides health information for women.

So why the dry spell? We asked Beth Battaglino Cahill, RN, executive director of HealthyWomen, what’s NOT happening in the bedroom — and why.

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“It’s just like eating the right things — we don’t do it as often as we should,” Cahill explains. “We’re exhausted and stressed from working, going to school, having kids. Some of us gained 10 or 15 pounds and don’t feel as secure about our body image.”

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But there could be deeper issues at play. While 63 percent of respondents said that connecting with their partner is the most important aspect of their sex life, only 42 percent say they’re very or extremely satisfied in this department. Meaning, we’re not always getting what we want from our partner in the bedroom.

“Good sex may be the ideal but it’s not the reality for many women,” Cahill says.

But even if you’re not always “in the mood,” sometimes it’s worth it to push yourself to get there. An active sex life decreases stress, strengthens pelvic floor muscles, increases your immune system function and burns calories, according to Cahill. (One study found that women who have sex at least four times a week look up to 10 years younger than their actual age!). It also helps you form a closer bond with your partner.

“Even if you’re not in mood, once you start, you get in the mood,” Cahill says. “You’re happier, he’s happier and you feel more connected — that’s the most important part.”

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TopicsSex and relationships sexual health

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