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Why Men Are Not Marrying as Much Anymore? 5 Possible Reasons

Verified Marriage & Family Therapist Associate Clinically Approved By

Jeannie Sytsma, LMFTA | By

Sylvia Smith, Author

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Updated: 20 Dec, 2023

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Hang around any coffee house or bar long enough, and you might hear the murmurs of disappointment coming from people:

“I don’t want to get married. All I want is a friend with benefits.”The video player is currently playing an ad. You can skip the ad in 5 sec with a mouse or keyboard

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“He has zero interest in a committed relationship.”

The general consensus we are hearing from people nowadays is that fewer people out there are interested in putting a ring on it.

Even if it may feel like men are not marrying or are not interested in getting married, it is not true.

Sure, the percentage of never-married men has been consistently rising, as per the U.S. Census Bureau. But still, the majority of men get married at least once in their lifetime.

But what about all the others?

Why men are not marrying at increasing rates? What are men afraid of? Why has men not marrying become a matter of concern?

This article discusses the real reasons that will help you understand how deep the problem goes.

Why do people get married: 7 important reasons

People get married for a variety of reasons, and motivations can vary widely among individuals and cultures. Some common reasons include:

1. Love and companionship

Many people choose to get married because they are in love and want to spend their lives with their partner. Marriage is often seen as a formal commitment to building a life together and providing emotional support.

2. Social and cultural expectations

In many societies, marriage is considered a social norm and is often expected. Cultural, religious, or family traditions can play a significant role in influencing people’s decisions to marry.

3. Legal and financial benefits

Marriage often comes with legal and financial advantages, such as tax benefits, inheritance rights, and access to spousal benefits. Some people choose to marry for practical reasons related to these legal and financial advantages.

4. Stability and security

Marriage is sometimes seen as a way to create a stable and secure environment for raising children and building a family. It provides a formal structure for shared responsibilities and commitments.

Marriage is a formal commitment to a long-term partnership. It signifies a willingness to work through challenges and difficulties together and to build a life that involves mutual goals and aspirations.

5. Religious or spiritual reasons

For many individuals, marriage is a sacred or spiritual institution, and they choose to marry as part of their religious beliefs or spiritual practices.

6. Peer and social pressure

Some people may feel societal or peer pressure to get married, especially as they reach a certain age or stage in life. This pressure can come from cultural expectations or the desire to fit into social norms.

7. Emotional and psychological fulfillment

Marriage can bring emotional and psychological fulfillment to individuals, providing a sense of belonging, purpose, and personal growth.

It’s essential to recognize that the reasons for getting married can be complex and multifaceted, and individuals may have a combination of these motivations. Moreover, societal attitudes toward marriage and the importance placed on it can vary significantly across different cultures and time periods.

5 benefits of marriage

There are several potential benefits associated with marriage. It’s important to note that these benefits can vary widely among individuals and that not everyone may experience the same advantages.

Here are five common reasons people cite when discussing the benefits of marriage:

1. Emotional support and companionship

Marriage often provides a strong emotional support system. A spouse can offer companionship, understanding, and encouragement during both challenging and joyful times. Having a life partner can contribute to emotional well-being and a sense of belonging.

2. Legal and financial benefits

Marriage can come with various legal and financial advantages. These may include tax benefits, joint property ownership, inheritance rights, and access to spousal benefits such as health insurance, Social Security, and pension plans. These financial perks can contribute to increased stability and security.

3. Health benefits

Research suggests that married individuals may experience certain health benefits compared to their unmarried counterparts.

Married people often have lower rates of cardiovascular diseases, lower levels of stress, and better mental health. Emotional support within a marriage can positively impact overall well-being.

4. Long-term stability and commitment

Marriage is a formal commitment to a long-term partnership. This commitment can provide a stable foundation for building a life together, raising children, and weathering the challenges that life may bring. The security of a committed relationship can contribute to personal and familial stability.

5. Social and community connections

Marriage can enhance social integration by connecting individuals to broader social networks. Couples often build relationships with other married couples, creating a supportive community. This sense of community and shared experiences can be valuable for personal and social well-being.

It’s important to acknowledge that not everyone’s experience of marriage is the same, and individual circumstances can vary.

Additionally, the success and benefits of a marriage often depend on factors such as communication, mutual respect, and shared values between partners. While these potential benefits exist, they are not guaranteed, and successful marriages require effort, commitment, and ongoing communication.

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5 reasons why men are not marrying

You might be looking for answers if your boyfriend doesn’t want to get married despite being in love with you. For you, marriage might be the natural next step, but marriage might be problematic for men not getting married.

Maybe he doesn’t believe in marriage, as he considers it complicated, unnatural, or archaic. For some who don’t believe in marriage, the societal pressure or expectation to get married might create an aversion towards marriage.

Here are some possible reasons why men are not marrying at the rates that they used to:

1. The perception of loss of freedom

One of the men’s biggest fears about marriage? That they may suffer a loss of freedom.

The dread of losing one’s ability to freely make decisions for all aspects of their life can be why some men never marry.

Some smart men don’t get married because they might be afraid to forsake their freedom to indulge in their favorite hobbies and activities as they like. Freedom to hang around and watch Netflix all weekend long without someone compelling them to get up off the couch.

Marriage might be seen as a ball and chain, weighing them down

These men do not see the emotional and physical advantages of being in a union with someone they truly love; they only see the loss of their liberty.

So, single men fearing the loss of freedom tops the reasons why men don’t marry and why they propagate the idea that it is good for a man not to marry.

2. Fears about a potential divorce

There are a whole lot of men out there who have seen the emotional and economic damage divorce brings to the family unit. Men not marrying could be because they presume that a divorce is imminent. This fear might make them overlook the benefits of getting married.

Single men who avoid marriage may have grown up in a broken home, or they have “been there, done that” and don’t want to ever find themselves in such a vulnerable position again.

They think that history will repeat itself, so it is better not to create a new history with a new woman.

The problem with this mindset is that all love stories are different. Just because you’ve lived through one divorce does not foretell that you’ll have another one.

If the man you are interested in has been scarred by divorce, ask him about his fears and discuss how things might play out differently in your relationship.

There are plenty of divorced men out there who have gone on to have successful second marriages. There is no need to build emotional walls just because a previous union did not work out.

RELATED READING
7 Steps to Overcome the Fear of Divorce

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3. Unwilling to make sacrifices

Some men avoid marriage because they love their me-centered lifestyle.

Marriage does require sacrifice. It requires faithfulness, an accounting of your time when not with your spouse and an emotional investment. Some men only see the positive in some of this.

Men staying single can often be attributed to their lack of willingness to make adjustments to accommodate a person in their life.

Some men are not marrying because they might believe that men shouldn’t get married as they will have to give up material and non-material things in their lives.

4. Dating apps work out great

Why do some men never marry?

Depending on the app used, men can swipe, chat, and hook up in a matter of hours. For a man who has no interest in commitment, this is the perfect tool for him to find an endless supply of sexual satisfaction and non-committal engagement.

For non-committal men, marriage can mean imprisonment. Men are not marrying in these situations because they might feel that their emotional, sexual, social, and romantic needs are being met.

But should he ever need support through a health crisis or emotionally taxing life moment, Tinder will likely be of little aid.

5. Need for awareness about the benefits of marriage

For men not marrying, a little knowledge about the emotional, sexual, and financial benefits of getting married will help break the illusion.

Studies prove it: men fare better when married than when single. Married men make higher salaries than their single counterparts, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Also, studies say that married men stay healthier than their single counterparts, and single men die earlier than married men, dying ten years earlier!

Married men even have better sex lives, contrary to what you’d think if you listen to single guys boast about their sex lives. Men who never marry might be unaware of this aspect of marriage.

According to the National Health and Social Life Survey, 51 percent of married men were extremely satisfied with their sex lives. In comparison, only 39 percent of men living with women without being married to them, and 36 percent of single men, could say the same.

Men are not marrying because they may fail to realize that married sex can be incredible due to the strong emotional bond married partners often share. This allows for some fantastic fireworks in the bedroom.

Studies confirm that marriage offers continual benefits for men’s finances, their sex lives, and their physical and mental health.

Why are men avoiding marriage if there are so many benefits to marriage?

Reasons to not get married for certain men is that they still believe in the ball-and-chain myth. Men not marrying view marriage as an expensive obstacle to their freedom and sex lives.

The media perpetuate these views in today’s culture, which has undoubtedly negatively affected men’s views towards marriage. Premarital counseling might be required to help address these concerns.

Watch this video to learn more about some of the alternatives to marriage:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=D2pZKTUvht4%3Fsi%3Do6zkMsPO3U57NQQ_

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FAQs

Marriage is a complex social institution with various facets. Here are succinct answers to key questions related to marriage:

What percentage of men never get married?

A study conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that 23 percent of American men have never been married. It supports the claim that men marry at different rates than before.

What is the average age of marriage for men?

The average age of marriage for men varies globally but often falls between 28 and 32 years. Cultural and societal norms significantly influence this age range.

What are the most common reasons for divorce?

Infidelity, communication breakdown, financial issues, divergent priorities, and lack of compatibility are among the most common reasons leading to divorce worldwide.

What are the financial implications of marriage?

Marriage brings financial benefits, including tax advantages, shared expenses, and potential dual-income households. However, it also entails joint financial responsibilities and potential challenges.

Marriage is bad for men or women who have not secured themselves finances and are wholly unprepared for the financial responsibilities of running a household.

What are the legal rights of married couples?

Married couples enjoy legal rights such as inheritance benefits, joint property ownership, spousal support, and decision-making authority in healthcare matters. Legal frameworks may vary by jurisdiction.

Final takeaway

There is an increase in the overall number of men who never marry. The trend leads to concerns that there might come a time when no man wants to be a husband, as it involves making adjustments and opening yourself to the possibility of getting hurt.

However, marriage can benefit men significantly by offering ways to improve their mental and physical health. It can offer companionship and the ability to deal with stress better.

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Sylvia SmithAuthor

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle Read more

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If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Why Men Are Not Marrying as Much Anymore? 5 Possible Reasons

Why do people get married: 7 important reasons

1. Love and companionship

2. Social and cultural expectations

3. Legal and financial benefits

4. Stability and security

5. Religious or spiritual reasons

6. Peer and social pressure

7. Emotional and psychological fulfillment

5 benefits of marriage

1. Emotional support and companionship

2. Legal and financial benefits

3. Health benefits

4. Long-term stability and commitment

5. Social and community connections

5 reasons why men are not marrying

1. The perception of loss of freedom

2. Fears about a potential divorce

3. Unwilling to make sacrifices

4. Dating apps work out great

5. Need for awareness about the benefits of marriage

FAQs

Final takeaway

References

Share this article on

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