GRANDMA DODE

My parents settled in North Omaha after they were first marriage. This was the area that my father grew up. However, the house was inundated by a flood or a threat of a flood and soon thereafter moved to Benson in Omaha. Benson was the neighborhood of my mother and she grew up at 58th and Corby St. It was a large house and today has a number of apartments.

Their move to Benson placed them in my mom’s territory where she spent all of her life. This second house was located at 58th and Lake and across the street was a young lady who baby sat. Dorothy lived with her mother in a two bedroom house,  with a huge stately tree in front. The little house had an open front porch, a small living room with a dining room and kitchen. The two bedrooms were in the back.

Dorothy or “Dode” had a sixth grade education and had acromaglia. It is a disease that mildly disfigures the individual. It is thought to originate in the pituitary gland. Her eyesight was also affected. As my parents were expected to travel a great deal , she became part of our family. The term is fictive kin. Dode originally lived in another part of Omaha in the Central/ Cathedral area. Her father was Captain of the Omaha fire Department. After he died and her brother Austin moved away, Dode lived with her mother in this small house in Benson.

As early as the late 40’s she was part of our family. My first remembrance was how I was mad at Jesus. I thought the world of my grandmother and her Sunday afternoon dinners. Many Sundays, my mom and dad would drive my brother and sister to Grandma’s house.  She had one of those ideal transitions from life to death. After the medical doctor gave her a thumbs up the day before she climbed  the stairs in her home and slumped on the steps. Supposedly, it was quick.

Our entire family was devastated and Dode became my grandmother. She was there the night of my grandmother’s death and I was mad at Jesus. Well, Dode was there to calm me.As the years ensued, Dode became part of one’s activities. If she wanted to talk on the phone, she would ring 3 times and stop. She had “40 call “so we would then turn around and call her (40 call meant the customer got a special rate if they called less than 40 calls a month.)

Outside of my friends, Dode was family. Further, mom and dad were often gone, so Dode and I would play Chinese Checkers. It was a simple game, but could be complicated depending on the players. Dode knew I loved her and that was that.

After I finished college, I would often travel to Dode’s apartment in an eldercare in North Omaha from my in-laws where my wife Jennifer and I often visited. Dode and I would talk briefly and then she would introduce me to all the staff at the home. After that I headed home.  These introductions to staff happened every time, so it became a ritual that all parties save Dode became part of this interaction.

She called me her boy. All would smile and I would escort her to her room. As we walked down the hallway, room after room had re-runs of Lawrence Welk. Even later in life, I found this apparent on late Saturday afternoons when visiting other elderly.

We also exchanged letters when my family and I moved to Iowa. So it was hard to say goodbye when she passed in 1985. There was a short service in the home and the casket was open. As the mortician closed the casket, I tore a small part of a sash that had been placed on the body. To this day, I don’t know why, but it was a part of my coming of middle age. Dode is buried in a cemetery at the edge of a drive next to her mom and Captain John her father. Ironically, friends parents are nearby and neighbors are within a short distance.

Something appears to happen when I visit her grave. One time, I discovered a Kennedy half dollar in my pocket after the visitation. They had been out of circulation for some time.  However, the whole thing is subject to debate.

Good things are not always oblivious.

(Dode collected coins as a hobby)