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2Softening Your Lips and Getting Good Breath

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Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: February 19, 2026 Fact Checked

If you are 12-15 years old and are very anxious about kissing another teen, that’s okay! These feels are totally normal, and there’s no pressure to have your first kiss. Kiss someone when you feel ready and you like the person. When it’s time for the kiss, lean in 90% of the way, and let the other person meet you the rest of the way. After the kiss, act normal! Everyone has to have their first kiss at some point, so you don’t have to overthink it too much.

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Things You Should Know

Flirt with someone in a quiet, private space to make them comfortable and ditch distractions before you go in for the kiss.
Afterwards, compliment them for being a good kisser and keep the conversation going to boost their confidence and avoid awkward silence.
Brush your teeth and apply chapstick beforehand to keep your breath and lips fresh.

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Part1

Finding Someone to Kiss

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1Get to know someone you think is really neat and interesting. Try to find someone who strikes your interest. Maybe they are very cute, smart, funny, or unique. Chat with this person to build a friendship, and start to flirt with them to show your interest. This could be a kid in your class or someone in your after-school club.^[1]
- This may take some time, but you’ll be thankful your kiss was with someone you really like.
- To flirt, you can start by joking around, complimenting them, and making eye contact.
2Notice their body language to tell if they want to kiss you. If your crush likes you, it won’t be too hard to notice. Some promising signs of this include frequent smiles, teasing, poking, tickling, or touching. These are good indicators that your crush may be thinking about kissing you too.^[2]
- If your crush flips their hair, this may be a sign that they are into you.
- If you notice your crush joking with you a lot and trying to make you laugh, they may want to kiss you too.
- It’s always a good idea to think it a kiss is appropriate for the time and the moment before going in for it.^[3]
3Kiss someone when you feel ready, regardless of how old you are. Around ages 12-15, people often start having their first kiss. Don’t feel pressured by other people your age kissing people, and don’t rush into kissing someone if you are apprehensive. You’ll know intuitively when the time feels right.^[4]
- It’s perfectly normal to have butterflies in your stomach or feel nervous at the thought of kissing someone.
- If someone wants to kiss you but you aren’t ready, say something like, “Sorry, I don’t want to yet,” or “Sorry, I would love to kiss you, but I’m not ready for that right now.”^[5]
- A lot of people don’t feel safe or comfortable kissing on the first date. This is perfectly normal and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.^[6]
- Reader Poll: We asked 995 wikiHow readers if they like to kiss on a first date, and 50% of them said no. [Take Poll] Take things at a pace you’re comfortable with!
4Play kissing games with your friends if you can’t find a partner. Another way to find someone to kiss is to play games like Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle. You can kiss someone at random or have a friend try to help you hook up with a hottie. Many people start kissing by playing games with their friends, so give this a shot if you want to kiss someone.^[7]
- For example, tell your friend that you want to kiss someone in particular, and then they can dare the person to kiss you during Truth or Dare.
- If you play these games, know that you may wind up kissing someone. Be comfortable with the kiss before you play.

Part2

Softening Your Lips and Getting Good Breath

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1Brush your teethprior to the kiss so your breath is fresh. If you have bad breath, it may make the kiss unpleasant. To prevent this, brush your teeth 2 times a day for 2 minutes. If you know you have a kiss planned, brush your teeth before you see the other person.^[8]
- You can also use mouthwash for extra-fresh breath. Swish the mouthwash around for 30 seconds or so.
- To freshen your breath throughout the day, use chewing gum or breath mints.
2Use chapstick regularly to get rid of dry skin. To get kissably smooth lips, you can put on chapstick 1-3 times throughout the day. Chapstick hydrates your lips and gets rid of dry skin, so your lips will be smooth and ready for a kiss.^[9]
- For example, put on chapstick after you brush your teeth in the morning and/or right before you go to bed.
3Avoid applying lip gloss right before the kiss so there’s no mess. While lipgloss can make your lips look shiny and kissable, it also can make a big, sticky mess if you wear it while kissing. If you are planning a kiss, go without wearing lip gloss that day.
- You can also wipe it off before the kiss for another option.

Part3

Making the Move

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1Choose a private or semi-private space where you won’t be distracted. Ideally, try to find a place without many people around so you can focus solely on the kiss. This can be outside of your school, in a park, at the mall, or at a house, for instance.^[10]
- Avoid kissing during school. This is considered “public display of affection” and you can get in trouble.
- Don’t kiss with you or the other person’s parents/guardian(s) around. Since you’re still a teenager, they may not find this acceptable.
2Flirt with them so they are more comfortable. If the other person seems nervous, do your best to make them feel relaxed. You can look into the other person’s eyes and smile, tell them a funny story or joke, or tease them about a silly comment.^[11]
- This breaks the ice and makes the kiss seem less intimidating.
- For example, say something like, “You have really pretty eyes,” or “I really like that shirt,” to compliment them.
- You can tell a silly knock-knock joke such as, “Knock Knock!” “Who’s there?” “Al!” “Al who?” “Al give you a kiss if you open this door!”
EXPERT TIPJohn Keegan
Dating CoachEase into your first kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read their body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for their response.
3Move your face slowly, aiming to get 90% of the way to their lips. When it’s time for the kiss, look your partner in the eyes, and tilt your head the opposite way of your partner. Slowly bring your mouth toward theirs, and close your eyes when you get close.^[12] Instead of going all the way in for the kiss, stop when you get about 1 in (2.5 cm) or so away so they can reciprocate.^[13]
- If you move your head in the same direction as your partner, you may bump heads.
4Let them come the other 10% of the way to ensure they want to kiss you. Wait a brief second for your partner to bring their lips to yours. This way, you know for sure that they want to kiss you too. This is also a fun, flirty way to make the kiss less awkward.^[14]
- If you notice the other person pulling away, stop and apologize. It’s okay if they aren’t comfortable with the kiss yet. Say something like, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
5Press your lips forward with light pressure when you touch lips. To enjoy the kiss, pucker your lips slightly when your partner kisses you back, and let the kiss continue for 2-5 seconds or so. Your partner may not like it if you kiss them too forcefully.^[15]
- This doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out kiss, as that may make it more awkward than it already may be.

Part4

Ending the Kiss

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1Avoid going for the tongue during the first kiss. Aim to deliver a quick, sweet kiss rather than using tongue or a lot of pressure. Then, move your head away from theirs. Using tongue may seem sloppy or extra awkward since you are new to kissing.
- When you kiss at a young age, this is all you need to worry about. Over time, you can develop your make-out skills.
- Avoid aggressive kissing, as shoving your tongue down someone else’s mouth isn’t really a great idea.^[16]
2Complimentthe other person to boost their confidence. After you kiss the other person, you can also say something like “Wow, that was great,” “You’re a good kisser,” or “I enjoyed that.” This reassures the other person that you like them and enjoyed the moment, and it also acts as a transition back into other conversation.
- You can also say, “Can I kiss you again?” before going in for another smooch.
3Keep the conversation goingafter the kiss so it’s not awkward. To ease you and/or your partner’s anxiety, aim to have a natural conversation. If you were discussing your weekend plans, ask your partner a question about it, for instance. You can also bring up a new topic to chat about, such as your upcoming sports game.
- If you or your partner are quiet after the kiss, you may feel more uncomfortable or start to doubt the kiss.
- The amount of time to chat for depends on your particular situation. For example, if you kissing someone while saying goodbye and now have to leave, chat for 1-5 minutes or so then politely excuse yourself.
- If you are playing a kissing game, simply return to the game and let the next player take their turn.

Join the Discussion…

I learned the average age for a first kiss is 15…

WikiRiverDancer770

I’m 25 and haven’t had my first kiss yet. I can’t help but feel like I’m behind 🙁 I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alone forever? How do I have my first kiss?

WikiStoatWatcher675

Hey, I’m 32 and I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 26. It was with my very first girlfriend and she’s now been my wife for 2 years! She makes me incredibly happy and I’m so grateful to have her in my life. It’s easy to compare yourself to other people but know that trying to treat averages like guidelines for how to live your life will just make you miserable. Everyone goes through life at their own pace and when the time is right you’ll have your first kiss.

wikiHow Editorial Team

While 15 might be the average age according to some sources, there are plenty of people who were older than that when they had their first kiss. If you haven’t had one yet, it doesn’t mean you’re behind and you’re definitely not doomed to be alone forever! Try not to compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own timeline and journey. When you meet someone you connect with, your first kiss will happen naturally—and it will be worth the wait.

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Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series

Are you worried about having a bad kiss? These expert articles will build your confidence and help you avoid awkward situations.

Refuse a Kiss 2Kiss a Shy Boyfriend 3Move in Effectively for a Kiss 4Kiss on a Dare 5Avoid a Kiss 6How to Avoid an Awkward First Kiss

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Tips

Watch movies of kissing scenes if you want to get some ideas and inspiration.^[17]
Don’t trust what you see in movies! They are staged. Also, just enjoy the moment rather than trying to copy a movie scene.
If you’re ready to kiss someone, start up a romantic conversation. This will make them more want to kiss you rather than you just kissing them and doing all the work.

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Tips from our Readers

Don’t compare yourself to other people your age who might have had relationships or kisses before you, and try not to rush things just so you can get your first kiss as soon as possible. Wait to find a person you want to kiss. It doesn’t matter if you are 12 or 17 as long as you enjoy being with them. Be confident and trust your senses!
Don’t kiss forcefully or hard the first time; give your romantic interest time. If you feel ready later on, go for it! The first kiss is just to feel each other out. Nonetheless, try and make it memorable.
Be careful not to just sit there with your hands at your sides, just touching lips. Tilt your head, move your lips, caress their cheek. This will make it more comfortable and memorable.
Try confessing your feelings first, and then ask if they like you back. If they say yes then that’s great! You can try going in for the kiss after that.
If your friends are forcing you to kiss someone, or either you or the other person don’t feel comfortable, don’t kiss them and wait until you’re ready.
Don’t pressure or rush the other person. Try to make them comfortable and respect your crush. They won’t go away if they really like you!

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Warnings

Do not kiss someone else unless they are completely comfortable with the situation.

How toHave a First KissHow toKiss Someone for the First TimeHow toHave a Memorable First KissHow toKiss a Girl for the First TimeHow toKiss a Guy for the First TimeHow toPrepare for Your First KissHow toAvoid an Awkward First KissHow toKiss Your Boyfriend for the First Time (Middle School Girls)How toGet a Kiss in Middle SchoolHow toGet a 13 Year Old Boy to Kiss YouHow toGet a Kiss on the First DateHow toKiss a BoyHow toKiss Your Girlfriend in Middle SchoolHow toKiss Someone in Elementary School

References

↑https://www.teenissues.co.uk/firstkisstips.html
↑https://www.teenissues.co.uk/firstkisstips.html
↑Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
↑https://www.teenissues.co.uk/firstkisstips.html
↑Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
↑Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
↑https://www.teenissues.co.uk/firstkisstips.html
↑https://youtu.be/sYqtN1pOCNU?t=1m11s
↑https://youtu.be/BlJZhk9IpfU?t=2m14s

More References (8)

About This Article

Co-authored by:

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller. Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships. This article has been viewed 1,226,868 times.

260 votes – 75%

Co-authors: 122

Updated: February 19, 2026

Views: 1,226,868

Categories: Kissing (Youth)

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,226,868 times.

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Co-authored by:

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Dating Coach

260 votes – 75%

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Co-authors: 122

Updated: February 19, 2026

Views: 1,226,868

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HOW TO KISS AT A YOUNG AGE

How to Kiss at a Young Age