Bennetts, Leslie (2007) THE FEMININE MISTAKE: ARE WE GIVING UP TOO MUCH?, New York: Hyperion Publishers, 350 pages.

This is Leslie Bennetts, a professional writer’s contribution to the Mommy Wars of the 80’s and early 90’s. Although the book is published in 2007, much of the material goes back to the Reagan, Bush era. The political Right was trying to seduced women with high power work place credentials to get out of the  office. The woman’s place is in the home. The Left was saying this is another plot on the Right to improve Patriarchal power back at work. Since then all of the arguments on both sides have gone up in smoke.

The crash and the Great Recession of 2008 has changed the rules once again. Everyone is out looking for a job. However, the climb back up of the economy  has been steady , but slow and upward. So this book’s real argument now is how to live cautiously and here are some suggestions.

First, the movement comes from the Religious Right. They want women at home under the obedience of the husband. It fits scripture. All the struggle by the Women’s movement to get a chance to use their talent is wrapped up in dependency. That is where the Right wants them. So this book and others are fighting the great fight against that.

Second, the original struggle came from many but Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique popularized the movement in the 60’s and the 70’s. It was moving along until Nancy Reagan moved into the White House. Her message was simple and clear. Get back home. Work your power through  your man.

Third, sex roles and the LGBT movement began to emerge from the mid 70’s on. Relative to straight women the argument was that women and men are not opposite, but for the most part the same except for size. The other side maintained that straight women who wanted anything other than traditional skills was a latent homosexual. Working in combination, gays indicated that for the most part

their orientation was biological and the women’s perception was learned. However for women, unisexualism gave rise to not same sexes, but similarity in sex. Biology is also important. Thus androgyny meant sex role sharing. It also meant that women and men were similar, but that in the long run certain jobs would have both sexes, but one would be over-represented in areas over and above other areas.

By the turn of the century, it became trendy among upper middle class professional women to move back home and completely take care of the kids. So in this fourth segment, this issue emerges. What is the “Feminine Mistake?” It is to give up that law degree for a first class cook book. And so the author is saying the following: 1) you drop out and when you go back, they don’t want you. Your skills are dated. 2) so you move into a low wage job with the hope that you can move back up with refresher courses or experience. This usually doesn’t work. 3) husband dies. In terms of longevity, women are the stronger sex. So now what are you going to do? 4) husband finds a new wife. You worked hard to put him through, but he wants a new trophy. 5.)All kinds of tragedies, including divorce can put you a check or two away from poverty and welfare.

There is more, but it is important now on using the book to get through your life and the ongoing downward trend from “trickle down economics” and the Chicago School of Economics.

So the sixth item is a generally accepted across the political continuum. Bad things happen to folks regardless of their politics. Do you want a bunch of kids? That’s fine. Each one will cost around a quarter of a million dollars excluding college.  Divorce rate is usually about 50%, however some break ups are unrecorded because a marriage did not occur in the first place. Further, a rate is for one year. If you look at marriages from start to divorce the proportion is thought to be about 6 for 10.

Seventh, you do not have to become Left of center and keep your job and limit childbearing.

Eight, none or few are really prepared for the break up and the children suffer anyway. By living cautiously, you can save for bad times. Additionally, when you keep your job, you remain employed unless the whole company goes under. However, you still are fresh with skills and connections,

Ninth, the likelihood of the immense wealth accumulated after the USA was in good shape after World War II and all our competitors were in shambles is possible, but not probable. If the husband, gets a trophy wife, it is really going to cost him and you will still have that job. What you also really have is leverage. Your hubby having two women to support gets harder and harder and kids are not cheap. So, regardless of ideology, stick with the job. and cut back on the number of children. It is not unpatriotic for Right wing women to have less children then they had planned. Further, if you don’t want children, there are males happy to marry you.

Tenth and final is that financial hard times puts women of all classes from assembly line to the professions in the same boat. Live cautiously and feel some comfort that you really did save for rainy days. If the sun breaks through, that is all the better.

The book is still available through both stores and e-media. Buy it.

Prof. Joel Snell

Kirkwood College